Positive / Negative

Ever since I started going on the now stopped but once increasing frequent trips, I became aware of the how the flow of positivity and negativity affects our thoughts, our actions and ultimately our lives. Affects from people and opinions around us to our own, which is the most undermining of all thoughts in our lives and in the lives of loved ones.

Have you ever gone a day without saying a word, just paying attention to everything around us? You’ll be amazed at how much self-hate, self-destructive thought people voice. You’ll be surprise to find out you usually do the very same thing. “…. I am no good at photography. I wished I could do photos like….”, “I have always wanted to paint (sing, dance, etc) but I have no real talent”, “If I start doing all those things I want to do, I am going to have to quit my job”, “I am sooooo unhappy”, “I am always depressed”, “Live is hard”, “You have to sacrifice a lot to get what you want” and the list goes on… What if all that negative self-talk doesn’t have to be truth? What if you had the chance of change it? …. Wait, WHAT???? Yes, I know, the simple and yet truthful concept that you life is yours and it is in your hands to do whatever you want with it is threatening. Living a life where you are fully responsible about everything that happens to you, no excuses, is threatening and yet powerfully liberating.

Where do you think all that negative self-talk comes from? It comes from friends, family, society, “common sense”, from all the sources you have been exposed in your life. People grounded in dogma, living a dogmatic life as Steve Jobs adequately put “..living with the results of other people’s thinking…”. A dreaming artist hears “artist’s are crazy”, “artist’s are gay” so all the sudden he is afraid of becoming an artist. Who want’s to be crazy? Who wants to “become” gay when they are not? or Who wants to feel shameful of being gay if they are? All that negative talk is just designed to make you live in fear and shame, fear of pursuing your dreams, shame of being yourself.

Next time you hear something that sounds like self-hate, pay attention and you may be able to figure out the reason behind it, and if you pay attention to yourself, you may be able to figure out the chain-reaction of emotions within you. Over the years I have made a fun game of breaking down “common sense”, one of my favorite ways to do it is by dressing totally ridiculous, only to watch close friends rise their arms in protest about how much of a fool I am making of myself, even going so far as to saying “that’s not yourself”, while at the same time watching other friends and strangers embracing the creative act of having fun.

I think all of us have received those kind of comments in our lifetime. Make no mistake, those opinions are not about you making a fool of yourself, those opinions are about them feeling embarrassed for who you are, because of what you want to do in your life. Those critiques are designed to make you feel ashamed of yourself, afraid of acting on you own. Those are the same chains that ties our grows to the ground, and those are the same very people who won’t let you fly. Think about it and pay attention.

See you next time,
Gabor

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