Acceptance

Acceptance, we seek acceptance because of the fears of being rejected by society, friends and family. Because of the fear of being right or wrong. We seek acceptance as an evaluation of our life’s doings and progress. It seems it is not enough to feel good about what we do, but we require the word around us give us approval if we want to continue what we are doing. You have no idea how many times I have encountered people who just stopped doing what they love doing because someone they knew didn’t like it.

It goes so far as to become a dependency in our lives, it goes so far as making our dreams depend on acceptance. Have you ever hear someone say: “I what to be famous” ? I have heard it way too many times only to realize they are not only slaves of what others think of them, but they are slaves of their own insecurities. Insecurities born on the question: “Is is ok if I do ….?”, “Is it going to be good?”, we have long abandoned ourselves to embrace the live, dreams, fears, thoughts of others, so we no longer do what we must because we love it, but we start doing what other expects us to do, so we become slaves of other people voices and there we go listening to all voices but our own. We start living the dreamed life of others, abiding by other people concepts and experiences instead of our own. We think we are successful, we might even think we are free, when in reality we are crying desperately to be happy. The same happiness that comes from doing what we must because it is the very same thing we love.

Some have gone so deep down the rabbit hole as to demand of themselves perfection at all times. Now, I want to take the time to ask what perfection really is? Can someone tell me? The closest thing I can imagine perfection to be is a consensus of something liked by a very large group of people. So there we go, judging our lives and what we do by the idea we made ourselves believe about what perfection is, about what millions of people are going to like. And since ideas change so quickly and nothing we do is ever going to look perfect to us, we never finish anything and get nothing done.

If only we could lose the grip acceptance have on us, if only we could stop judging what we do. We can. We can when we realize life is nothing more than an eternal string of moments, moments of now. The past is just an accumulation of experiences, most of the times filled more with the thinking of others than the result of our own experiences. The future is just a cloud of ideas and dreams about what we haven’t experienced yet, we may even not like what we thought we would. The idea of the future is one of the very same responsibles of our own doubts, “Am I going in the right direction?”.

We don’t need to be asked those questions. We in fact know we are going on the right track when we are enjoying the now, when we love what we are doing this moment, how we feel about ourselves. We know what we want, what our dreams are and how to get there when we go there by the present, now by now, little by little. When we stop rushing thru life and slow down to pay attention to the details not only outside, but inside us, we start filling our lives with the enjoyment of our own doing in life. We won’t need to be asked those questions, we know the answer already.

Until next time,
Gabor

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